LIFE HACK
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
So that’s why I keep trying to sneak into people’s houses.
(via heyfunniest)
Who invented the blow job?
Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
(Source: shadzu, via roboshittingrainbows)
I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.
(via heyfunniest)
